Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: September 2010


Anyone watch The Singoff last season? NOTA is awesome! – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG0PiVtqLxM I LOVE accapella! There CD comes out in November. This is great too – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbdPeSnXvUY

I started tweaking my play from my undergrad. I had to modernize it big time. I have 5 pages of dialogue right now. I know the concept I want to use. I just have to figure out what I am going to do and what direction I am going to go in.

I taught my third lesson yesterday at the high school I was put in. I have to get my act together with time management. I am so used to doing these damn mock lessons for Kean, that I find I am planning 20-25 minute lessons and then leaving the rest of the period for the activity. I don’t feel comfortable doing that. My cooperating teacher is really great though. She tells not to beat myself up since this is still new to me. Just because someone tells you not to beat yourself up, doesn’t mean you don’t continue to. I am the same way with theater. If I can’t get a song down or dance routine down the first time I do it, I lose my mind. That’s just me. I have that Uncle Ben’s Rice mentality – Instant! By the way, yesterday’s Quote of the Day was from a male student in the 7th period class who when I gave the activity just kind of sat there so I said “Hey too cool for school, you going to write something down or what?” So he says, “I would rather just type it at home. I am not a pre-draft kinda guy.” ALRIGHTY THEN! Too funny. I love the 7th period kids.  

Please tell me why a brand new campus building wouldn’t have computers in the classroom? Of course now I have to borrow a lap top from the professor to do my mock lesson. It’s quite embarrassing. My husband and I are just not in the position to spend money on a lap top right now. Maybe when I get a job but not while I am on unemployment. I swear these things only happen to me. It’s bad enough I am still having flashbacks from the Spring semester. Whatever. What’s going to be is going to be. I have to go back to the scale of 1 to 10 – 10 being losing my father. Where does not having a lap top really fall on that scale? I don’t want to have to go begging for a higher grade though. I’ve already done that once. That’s when my humility surfaces. I hate acting like a big mush. Did you ever notice when you put your heart on your sleeve you regret it later? I guess I am having business flashback where “Kevin” told my husband and I on numerous occasions that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. UGH! I HATE doing that. That’s a character trait I can’t seem to get rid of. Who really appreciates that except your parents and your spouse?

(I would like to wish a Happy 37th Birthday to a friend of 23 years. She knows who she is – Now we can get FV and choose your Kia or my Santa Fe to cruise in. What mid 30s? We are 21 over and over every year! Those were the days of  M. Gizz! :-0)


So I have had several different people read our one-act play called The Switch. One person is the individual playing opposite me who is playing the reporter. He wanted to read the script before he agreed to take the part. He took the part. I guess that means he liked it? Three others read it as well.

One individual has a Master’s Degree in English, is a former journalist, and is a college professor in Connecticut. She is a college buddy of mine. We used to work at the local paper together as well. I trust her. She is very creative. She named her daughter Arcadia Cosette – Cosette being from Les Mis.     I think that is great. I always said if I had a daughter I would name her Cecily Teresa. Cecily from The Importance of Being Earnest  and Teresa being my maternal grandmother’s name and my Confirmation name. Now we kick around Brielle or Zoe (our lead character in our play) for a daughter’s name. Not that kids will come real soon if at all but who knows. I don’t have a crystal ball. In any case, my friend loved it. She thought the dialogue flowed.

A second individual who I went to high school with also thought it was good work. He graduated a year before me and is a screenplay writer. He actually has a meeting in Los Angeles next week with executives for his screenplay. I can’t even imagine to begin to know what he is feeling. That’s awesome! He is a horror guru. When he read the play, he said playfully that we should have one character kill the other  and typed in a “LOL.”   He said the hubby and I did good work.

The last person I sent it to you is a long time friend as well. He is a member of SAG and does a lot of work in the NJ/NYC area. He actually said it was very wordy, said there was a lack of contractions, and said the dialogue sounds like they took a conversation course. Can characters actually be too intellectual when they speak? Does an intellectual conversation mean it’s not realistic? I mean when I told my friend from Connecticut she said that psychopaths usually speak very intellectually and asked if I ever heard Bundy talk. While I appreciate my SAG friend’s feedback, I kinda disagree. But hey who am I? Who is my husband? I am just a girl from Prospect Park, NJ and he is just a guy from Pawnee, IL. Is everyone going to like it? No, probably not. I hope whoever comes and sees it at least has the backbone to dissect it after seeing it, ya know? This is only our first work. If it is an immediate crowd pleaser, great. If it’s not, will it bother me a little bit? Yes. Will I get over it and move on? Yes. Nothing is going to break my stride. How many times did Eminem choke on stage? How many times was he booed off stage?


I found out that I will be playing Zoe in the one-act my husband and I wrote. We can’t find anyone available or with a normal schedule. I really didn’t want to be in it. This is the first time a work I was involved in is being performed. I wanted to get excited and watch. Zoe is a serious character. SIGH.  My mind is working overtime now. I have to learn these lines in addition to taking care of all my responsibilities with school and interning. I can’t complain really though. Good things are starting to happen at least! I know I have changed. I still may have my wit and humor but I am not the same person I was at the beginning months of 2010. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4VwhQlf1cc  I want to continue to write. I work so better with structure and deadlines. Anyone out there want to push me? 🙂 I would kill for an agent or something to give me deadlines.

Oh man. I just read that  39-year-old Joseph Cerniglia who owns Campania in Fair Lawn killed himself over debt. He is leaving behind a wife and 3 kids. That’s a shame. His restaurant was on Season 2 of Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares. That’s the second person to commit suicide that was on one of Gordon Ramsey’s shows. YIKES! While I am sure Joseph Cerniglia’s debts were way more than ours were when we owned the fitness facility, I certainly understand the stress of the debt. You honestly don’t understand or know the sinking feeling and feeling of failure that overcomes you.  There have been people who have owned the same franchise I owned that have committed suicide because they felt like there was no way out. When you tell people about it and they answer, “I can imagine,” they really can’t. You don’t know how it feels to almost lose a marriage and in this case a life because overwhelming amounts of debt. I am not even going to pretend I understand what his family is going through right now. It’s a shame. It’s sad. My heart goes out to the Cerniglia family especially his kids.


So what has everyone thought of this crazy journey called life I have been on since 2005?

Tonight my husband and I had a nice night out with our best friends and my God-Daughter. We went to dinner at a turkish mediterranean restaurant – byob. Never been to that type of place before. It was pretty good. The only problem I had with it was the salty rice. Not a big fan of salt.

Did you ever think to yourself, biologically I am “insert age” but mentally I am “insert age?” When we were driving home tonight I found myself listening to what my friends and I like to call  “old school music.” I had it playing loudly as I always do. I was singing and just being goofy. I just love that.  My husband just looked at me, smiled, and shook his head. I guess you can put the Prospect Park in the girl but you can’t take it out!

I want to write something else now that our one-act is done. I have a one-act I wrote in a playwriting class when I did my undergrad. I think I am going to update that and make it more modern. I want to stay motivated and just keep writing. I want the sky to be the limit. My ideal? I want to have the writing career of Jodi Piccoult. I want to travel places to do research. I want book tours. I have wanted that my whole life. My fingers are crossed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMq92PDEKP4 Cant stop listening to this song now. This is my song. Obviously not geared at my husband but to everyone else out there! I have all this passion inside. You better LISTEN!

 


Did you ever want something for yourself so badly? I love writing. That is why I started this blog. It wasn’t just for the catharsis. It was because I just love to write. I think I mentioned a few blogs back that my husband and I were writing a one-act play and that it was going to be performed. We finished it. After many changes and editing it numerous times, we finished it. I uploaded it on the government copyright page today. I am so happy and so excited. I have waited so long for something like this. On the night it is performed, Oct 30, 2010, I am going to be extremely giddy – kinda like Scrooge at the end of a Christmas Carol after he had his epiphany. I am sure not everyone is going to like it. Just the fact that we completed a one-act play makes me feel great. Something I wrote with my husband is going to be performed. Unreal. I actually started writing a book about the topic of the play. We took that concept and made the one-act. We are thinking about expanding it to a full length play or a screenplay. We have no experience in screenplays but I know I am certainly open to learning. I’m sure my husband is too. Another option is just to keep the book idea. I don’t know but I am psyched! I have always wanted to have my name recognized for something. I never wanted to be just another person in society working a regular job. This has made my journey to this point all the more worth the hurdles.

On September 8, I started interning at the high school I was assigned to. My cooperating teacher is great. She’s very helpful and supportive. I have already taught two lessons. It went pretty well. I had some of my own criticisms about time management. That’s just the flaw of this perfectionist attitude I have developed. I’m tired of failing at things, ya know?

I have also started two other classes. The computer class I have, honestly, I hate it. The professor is inserting lessons on binary numbers. I asked him point-blank what this had to do with teaching English in a classroom. Lisa and Math – HUGE oxymoron.  I do not do math. I hate math. I’m sorry all you mathematicians. I give you credit because I have ZERO patience for it. My other class – so far so good. I’ve had this professor before. I think I mentioned about her class the prior semester where I bombed her lesson plan project. Now in the class, I go and just keep my mouth shut. I know better now because I know her. I am going to do my best to do good lessons. We have to do two literature lesson plans. I wish I could use the lessons I already taught at the high school! She picked the book though. Bummer! I definitely understand why it is more uncomfortable to perform in front of your peers than it is in front of the room with the kids. In the classroom, I brought my personality and a little of the “Prospect Park – Lisa Jersey” swagger. It worked. Being in front of my peers doing mock lessons, eh, not real comfortable. Oh well. I have no choice.


You ever wonder what people are thinking sometimes? Did you ever notice it is the ones with all the issues that like to say things to people to reflect what they really think about themselves on you? A woman who my husband and I do not care for never really figured out that we didn’t care for her. We would say hi for the benefit of a mutual friend but we never cared for her. The reason is because the persona she displays is one of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder with a little of that single white female type behavior. Little things just push you over the edge about people like that. Finally, I commented on another friend’s Facebook page and that kind of set this woman off. The funny thing is she called me a class act. Yes, I am. The other funny thing? If I was to sit here and elaborate on her, you wouldn’t believe it. The things this woman does at her age with an impressionable teenage daughter is unreal. When my father passed away, she had the nerve to show up at his Memorial Service. While that was nice and all, we don’t have a friendship or relationship with her. In addition, a few days after my father passed, my husband and I were out having a drink and this woman was out with our friends. She had audacity to say that she was freaked out because her cousin’s aunt’s next daughter removed died of breast cancer. Anyone dying of any disease is horrible but to say that to me while I am out and just lost my father when you didn’t even have a relationship with the particular very distant relative that passed was terribly rude. But I have no class? Isn’t anyone sane anymore?


Today is a GREAT football day! My husband’s team, the Bears, are on at 1 p.m., then the Jets at 4:15 p.m. and then my boys are on at 8:20 p.m. I just love when they play at night. *CAN YOU HEAR THE SARCASM COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?* I get to go to bed aggravated some times. Just lovely. It’s the Manning Bowl II! Lets go Big Blue!

We are just about caught up on the journey or at least we will be fairly caught up after this post. In any case, when I finished the summer semester I think my nerves got the best of me. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do my pre-professional field (one day a week internship) come September. It was bothering me that I was still on unemployment and didn’t have a job. I have this thing about having to contribute to the bill paying. While I am on unemployment, I don’t really consider that “contributing.” With  everything going on with this HORRIBLE governor, I didn’t think there was any way I would get a teaching job come September 2011. At the same time, I was  doing public relations (still am) for a murder mystery group we are a part of. I like doing that. Anything writing related, I love. My first love will ALWAYS be writing, not teaching. My husband said that if I see a job in the paper that I can see myself doing for a long time to submit but not to just submit to anything. I submitted two resumes and never heard anything. I told my husband that was a sign. If I were to get called and hired somewhere, it was meant to be. If not, then it wasn’t and I was meant to stay in school.  At first I was so conflicted as to whether to mail out the first resume. It was for a PR job at a college. I needed an objective opinion so I emailed a friend of mine from Connecticut that I went to college with who has the same passion for writing that I do. We used to work at the local paper together.

I needed some sound objective advice from someone removed from the situation. I explained I had two semesters and two classes left plus the one day a week internship for September. I would be doing my full internship 5 days a week during the Spring semester Jan 2011-May 2011. Heres what was going on in my head in more detail. I had been on unemployment since November 2008. I was tired of not working. Besides working out during the day, I was bored out of my mind and basically found myself doing house wife things – so not me. I don’t know how some women stay home all day. The education program at Kean doesn’t want you working when doing your internship. In the middle of September, the claim I had for unemployment was going to expire. I would start another tier of benefits. The problem was I did not know how much money I would be getting at that point every two weeks but it was believed to be less than what I was currently getting. Our expenses have gone up because we had to get our second new car since the lease expired on our other car. My husband and I both have new Santa Fes. As I stated, my hubby told me if I could find a job that I really wanted to do and could see myself doing for a long time where the salary was good, to go for it. I was conflicted. I didn’t know what to do. Teaching was going to be a fall back position so that I had given myself options career wise with the current state of the economy. However, my love had always been for writing and PR. I love kids, don’t get me wrong, but the excitement I get when I write wasn’t there while I was thinking about it. I had the envelope with my resume, cover letter, and writing samples ready to go for the college PR job. I kept going back and forth whether to mail it or not. The reason I was conflicted was because I didn’t want people thinking I was a quitter in terms of school or that I couldn’t finish anything I start. That seemed to have been my pattern. Since the whole business fiasco, who knew what people would say. Everyone always has an opinion about other people’s business. Whether they tell you to your face is another story. Since losing my job in Nov 2008, I havent really been able to make up my mind about what the hell I wanted to do and I am 35 years old! I didn’t really get a chance to really assess what I wanted to do and really think about it because two months after I lost my job I lost my dad, my pet died, we had a bankruptcy and so on. Who would immediately have a clear head to make a good decision after all that? I was afraid to take a job in the writing/editing field because I have lost my job so many times because of the economy. BUT, if I stayed in school, I am accumulating loans with no guarantee of a teaching job come September which would cause me to look in the writing field anyway. Plus if I stayed in school, I was another year away from working. If I took a job and I lost it again, I was afraid I would be kicking myself for not finishing the program at Kean. I wanted to make the best decision for my family because of this horrible economy. Like I said earlier, I don’t know how much less money from unemployment I was going to get. I was not having any problems in school. I was just trying to figure out what the hell the best decision was for us. God gave me the answer because I did not get any phone calls from either resume I submitted.

I think all the above may have stemmed from fear about actually having to be in a real classroom now and being monitored by a cooperating teacher and supervisor. It wasn’t a mock classroom anymore. I didn’t know if I was ready for a real setting.


Today was a very interesting day. I had to go with my mother to court. She sued a woman in small claims court. Heed my warning, if you see someone in Elmwood Park advertising her cleaning business, run in the other direction. Not only does she charge you $150.00 under the table so she doesn’t have to pay taxes, but she is a con artist. While my mother didn’t ask her to clean her house, my mother did however sell her dining room set to this woman. My mother is downsizing furniture and put an ad in the paper listing her dining room.  This woman called and wanted to come and see it. When she arrived to my mother’s condo, she had to have it right away. She loved it. She drove back home (30 minutes away) to get a truck to be able to have the furniture that same day. She gave my mother cash money and then wrote a check for $400.00. They took the furniture outside in the rain and placed in their truck. Whether they tied it down or had bungee cords no one knows. Something must have happened from the time they took it from my mother’s to their home. The next day this woman stopped payment on her $400.00 check and demanded my mother take the furniture back. Her daughter called my mother saying her mother didn’t like the way it looked in the dining room and that the goods were damaged. RIIIIIGHT! Because my mother wouldn’t take it back because all sales were final, she stopped payment on the check. She called my mother multiple times saying she wanted her to take the furniture back. I’m sorry when you buy something out of a newspaper, you can’t bring it home, try it out for size, and if you don’t like it, bring it back. This is NOT a clothing store people! Some individuals have SUCH nerve. The woman was not about to give my mother the money owed under any circumstances. My mother filed a police report and was told by her town police department that was theft. My mother filed a suit with the Bergen County Court for Small Claims. The court date was today. The funny thing was this woman lied through teeth at the courthouse but yet still had the $400.00 in cash that she owed my mother in her wallet. What does that tell you? If you had the money owed in your wallet ready to be disbursed, you knew you weren’t going to win. You knew you were wrong, but yet you tried to get away with it anyway. In addition, she wanted an Albanian interpretator when she spoke English to my mother at her house. Nothing against Albanians because one of my very good friends is Albanian, but you are going to use a language barrier as a crutch when you know you were WRONG? She started telling the arbitrators that my mother was harassing her and made her pregnant daughter faint. *CAN YOU HEAR THE SOAP OPERA MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND PEOPLE?*  She also said when she looked at the furniture it was dark outside. EH! Wrong! Try again! It was 2 p.m. She also said she can barely feed her daughter and didn’t have enough money to cover the $400.00 check and that’s why she stopped payment. If one doesn’t have enough money, why does one drive around in a new Mercedes Truck and offer up information that she paid cash for a down payment on a home?  Any other lies you want to try to tell to get yourself off the hook? Spare me the Latrell Spreewell speech about having to feed your family when you are making money under the table and driving around in a Mercedes Truck!


Has anyone seen this? – http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/snooki-charges-200000-to-walk-an-events-red-carpet-1572458.story?gt1=28135 – Good Lord, REALLY? Not to sound like a hater but . . .

On another note, my husband and I are writing a one-act that is being performed on October 30 at Pianos Bar & Grill in Bloomfield, NJ. I think we are going to call it The Switch or Identity Crisis. It’s part of a show called Midnite Stories: Behind the Bar Edition (A “Twilight Zone” Type anthology). I am quite excited! To see something come alive for the first time that my husband and I created makes my adrenaline flow.  It’s for a group called Mysterical Players that we are a part of. I’ve been doing their PR. Check the group out on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Mysterical-Players/274445179919?ref=ts

Back to the journey. Our relationship with Melissa and Frank was touch and go there for a while. Thank God that was rectified.

I didn’t think life and grief could bother someone as much as it botherd me. It’s hard everytime you are down to keep getting kicked. We had to do what we had to do to get our heads straight – more me though. I felt like the killjoy. I had to get the fog cleared from my head because the next semester at school was starting not long after the 1 year anniversary of my father’s death. Also at that time, I was playing one of the lead roles (The Queen) in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at a local theater in the area. I have to admit, with help from some friends that were actors/actresses, I came into my own. I worked with my singing teacher every week to get me prepared for my solos I had to sing. That boosted my self-esteem IMMENSELY. It was such a great experience. I had little kids coming up to me, some afraid, some not, after the show to take pictures. I had parents coming up to me telling me how great I did. I even had a parent recognize me in church. It was an incredible moment every time. 

The second semester was interesting. I had to travel to two schools for observations. Of course the commute was not close but I didn’t mind. I like driving. I can blast my tunes and sing at the top of my lungs. I know what you are thinking – This woman is a goof ball! – Yeah, pretty much! You either love me or hate me I guess. I am fine with either. In addition to the observations I had a Saturday class that was so boring. I think I had this same professor when I was at William Paterson. He basically sat in a chair at the front of the room and just talked. He would make us do rinky dink group work during class but otherwise I was taking so many notes. UGH! How can you teach like that in general but on Saturday to boot! An extra-large french vanilla couldn’t stop me from wanting to stick pins in my eyes! It was terrible. The professor made us meet with him at the end of the semester and asked what could be changed about the course. Being the person I am, of course I told him. I told him I was all about progressive education and there had to be more than lecturing. This was also the professor that kept looking at my chest while I was talking in that final meeting. I wanted to snap my fingers and whistle and be like “Yo man, my eyes are up here!” I hope I saved the next bunch of poor souls that took him.

My Monday night class was great. The teacher was cool of course with me. We discussed Giants tickets because she was a season ticket holder too. Don’t ask me why teachers take such a liking to me. Maybe because I go into the classroom and just do what I have to do and be myself. She is a first grade teacher during the day so by the time she got to us, she was exhausted which worked to our benefit. She taught the lesson and basically had us out at a reasonable time. Never did we leave at 10:15 p.m. I loved that considering I had like a 50 minute commute home.

I put myself in several predicaments in my Wednesday class. My first set of papers I bombed. The second lesson we had to do, I bombed. Being singled out by all my colleagues in the math field really annoyed me. I was already cranky because it was 100 degrees in the room. The math folk did their “mock” lesson and chose to incessantly annoy me by calling on me because I’m not a math person. COME ON MAN!!!! Lisa “Jersey” was slowly surfacing. I was going to explode. Thank God we were in the classroom. I bit my tongue as much as it would let me. I’m lucky I didn’t bleed out all over from how hard I was biting. By the time I presented my lesson, I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t want to do it. I hated that we were in an old school classroom and I didn’t have a laptop. I had to use the blackboard. I am not a blackboard teacher. I like using Powerpoint. The set up they had in there, one would have asked, “Did you get a free toaster with this too?” It was like reaching into the cracker jack box and pulling out the prize – Woo hoo an old school set up! UGH! I irked my professor. I irked myself. I got thrown under the bus in front of my classmates. It was terrible. I was told that it didn’t seem like I liked writing at all. That is the WORST thing you can say to me. It was like she stuck a steel knife in my gut. That bothered me A LOT. It bothered me that I let her down. In fact, it was all I could think about for days. I even journaled about it. I can’t tell you the last time I had picked up a journal before that. Thank God I got a do over on my papers at least. I was able to pick the grades up. I hate Cs. No Cs yet on my transcript *KNOCK ON WOOD*

I had another class that was half of a semester. It was a one credit course. The professor was cool. I did well in that class too.

I couldn’t wait for the semester to be over. I was looking forward to the summer even though I had to take Summer I and Summer II classes. When you are on unemployment, they want to rush you through everything and make you jump through hoops.


Just a little current catch up. I bought the new Eminem CD – Recovery. FANTASTIC! Now that he is drug free, his skills are back to the Em of old! How anyone can’t think he is a lyrical genius is beyond me. The word associations and rhyme patterns he uses is incredible especially for someone who never read poetry or received a high school diploma.

I saw a former member from the fitness facility today. She was one of the older ladies – I think in her 80s. I liked her. I’m sure she had something to say though when things first happened though because she is friends with “Devri.” 

Back to the Canada trip.  World, please keep in mind that all this is being told to present my state mind during various aspects of the grieving and epiphany process because I was so emotionally fragile and so angry. . . As time got closer, Melissa & Frank asked my husband and I if we minded if Melissa’s parents came up to Canada for News Years with us . What I should have said was, “You know I love your parents, but do you mind if it is just the 5 of us?” I just needed to be with my friends and my god-daughter and clear my head because it was such a domino effect from November 2008 to that time that I really hadn’t had a chance to just “escape.” While we did go to Fort Lauderdale, FL with our other two friends in April 2009, I think my husband and I really needed to go farther away. Canada was perfect. It was out of the country. We kept our mouths shut because we didn’t want to be disrespectful and we understood that if Melissa’s parents were there, they could go out one night and relax while her parents watched my god-daughter. However, I was grieving my father and I didn’t want to be on a “family” vacation when my family life was in such disarray. We kinda just let it go. The day we left for Canada I was looking on Facebook and noticed Melissa’s brother’s status message saying he and his girlfriend were going to Canada. We had no clue that he was coming as well. To find out on Facebook that this really was a family vacation turned my already fragile state of mind to something I never experienced before. If I knew that it was going to be a family vacation, I would have invited my mother just so I had some family there too – especially then or we would have stayed home and suggested an overnight of some sort when they got back.  Without going into much detail, it wasn’t the vacation we had hoped for. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed ourselves and thought Quebec City was amazing especially with the cobblestone streets and the horse drawn carriage ride I went on with my husband in the snow. How you can not like a real life Dickens village that was decorated for the holidays? In any case when we got home, we said we were just going to let things go and then my mother said things she shouldn’t have. Things just got crazy between everyone – Me, my husband, Frank, Melissa, her family, my mother, people on Facebook chiming in. It was just a nightmare and so not called for. It was probably one of the worse arguments I think I have ever been in with people that close to me. It was terrible. Things were being said between everyone that really weren’t meant but there was anger involved. It was at that point when that happened, that my husband and I looked at each other and said about everything, “What the hell are we doing?” We sat down, had a long talk, and just tried to put things in perspective. My father was always the one we would talk to and he wasn’t here anymore. It was time to find someone else to talk to and we did. We had to get out of the funk we were in – all the negativity, the anger, the hurt about my father, the business, our bird, careers, not having a house after 6 years of marriage, not knowing if we would ever be able to have kids because of our age and because of all the time wasted making wrong decisions, other people controlling situations and so on. We had enough. We couldn’t go on like that anymore. This is us – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBDapiN-cHc