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Just a little current catch up. I bought the new Eminem CD – Recovery. FANTASTIC! Now that he is drug free, his skills are back to the Em of old! How anyone can’t think he is a lyrical genius is beyond me. The word associations and rhyme patterns he uses is incredible especially for someone who never read poetry or received a high school diploma.

I saw a former member from the fitness facility today. She was one of the older ladies – I think in her 80s. I liked her. I’m sure she had something to say though when things first happened though because she is friends with “Devri.” 

Back to the Canada trip.  World, please keep in mind that all this is being told to present my state mind during various aspects of the grieving and epiphany process because I was so emotionally fragile and so angry. . . As time got closer, Melissa & Frank asked my husband and I if we minded if Melissa’s parents came up to Canada for News Years with us . What I should have said was, “You know I love your parents, but do you mind if it is just the 5 of us?” I just needed to be with my friends and my god-daughter and clear my head because it was such a domino effect from November 2008 to that time that I really hadn’t had a chance to just “escape.” While we did go to Fort Lauderdale, FL with our other two friends in April 2009, I think my husband and I really needed to go farther away. Canada was perfect. It was out of the country. We kept our mouths shut because we didn’t want to be disrespectful and we understood that if Melissa’s parents were there, they could go out one night and relax while her parents watched my god-daughter. However, I was grieving my father and I didn’t want to be on a “family” vacation when my family life was in such disarray. We kinda just let it go. The day we left for Canada I was looking on Facebook and noticed Melissa’s brother’s status message saying he and his girlfriend were going to Canada. We had no clue that he was coming as well. To find out on Facebook that this really was a family vacation turned my already fragile state of mind to something I never experienced before. If I knew that it was going to be a family vacation, I would have invited my mother just so I had some family there too – especially then or we would have stayed home and suggested an overnight of some sort when they got back.  Without going into much detail, it wasn’t the vacation we had hoped for. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed ourselves and thought Quebec City was amazing especially with the cobblestone streets and the horse drawn carriage ride I went on with my husband in the snow. How you can not like a real life Dickens village that was decorated for the holidays? In any case when we got home, we said we were just going to let things go and then my mother said things she shouldn’t have. Things just got crazy between everyone – Me, my husband, Frank, Melissa, her family, my mother, people on Facebook chiming in. It was just a nightmare and so not called for. It was probably one of the worse arguments I think I have ever been in with people that close to me. It was terrible. Things were being said between everyone that really weren’t meant but there was anger involved. It was at that point when that happened, that my husband and I looked at each other and said about everything, “What the hell are we doing?” We sat down, had a long talk, and just tried to put things in perspective. My father was always the one we would talk to and he wasn’t here anymore. It was time to find someone else to talk to and we did. We had to get out of the funk we were in – all the negativity, the anger, the hurt about my father, the business, our bird, careers, not having a house after 6 years of marriage, not knowing if we would ever be able to have kids because of our age and because of all the time wasted making wrong decisions, other people controlling situations and so on. We had enough. We couldn’t go on like that anymore. This is us – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBDapiN-cHc

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