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Tag Archives: semester


Today started off well. I got myself up at 6 a.m. to try to get my body used to getting up early again. I did great. I think it has to be the energy from working out so much. Today I spent an hour and half in the gym, got a mani/pedi, and went tanning. Things started spiraling after that. I was going to audition for a show and all my sheet music got lost. I went to the music store and all they had was the movie version of the show I use for auditioning so I bought it. I decided not to go audition because I wasn’t prepared, I couldn’t go to the call back night, and I got an email from my college stating they haven’t heard anything from the place I am supposed to intern at. Lovely since the semester starts the 18th and I am clueless.  Thankfully a professor of mine has been awesome but it’s so annoying!  In addition there was so much traffic on the way home, it took me a half hour to get home from a spot that usually takes 10 minutes. This all has made me so cranky. 

There has also been all these other things coming to fruition. I realized so much stuff in these 5 days that not many know about. This deals with what I blogged two days ago. Is it weird that this is all I have been thinking about? Should it be a recurring thought or no? Sucks when the thoughts  occur on a consistent basis.  It’s one of those very peculiar situations. I’m not into quests and I am not a chess player. I’m one for consistent fun in whatever capacity as opposed to giving stuff a whirl just to do it. I NEVER thought I would give so much thought (not in a skeptical, doubting, or negative way) to something like this.  I don’t know. . . How much can someone insert themselves into situations and then get nothing in return?  I believe in being altruistic  to an extent. When you start banging your head against the wall, when you know it’s falling on deaf ears, and when the crickets start chirping on the other end, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it to try so hard? I mean if someone isn’t trying as hard as you are, is there really anything there? No patience for untrue people. A frined of  mine that I hadn’t seen in two years was telling me a story about an individual she really cared about. She went above and beyond and got taken advantage of.  She couldn’t take it anymore and stopped talking to the person. You could tell when she was telling the story that she was hurt by it.  How many times can one get a cartoon jackass head on their shoulders before the epiphany occurs? A lot to think about . . .

Here’s my mood right now. This is a song I listened to over and over again when my father passed away but the words right now are still so fitting for everything going on in my life one way or another. I still don’t feel whole or know who I am. I guess in reality I still am Broken in some capacity. :

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Sitting here watching ESPN FIRST TAKE and listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N9PmfpGQrQ – LOVE this song. Singing away. This song has so many meanings for me – Not just the obvious love song type insinuation. I like to reach deeper with music lyrics. I am so into music lyrics telling a story especially where I am concerned. I have a song for EVERYTHING. Don’t you wish you can get inside my head? :p

Still in my PJs cause I can! WOO HOO! I have been so exhausted. It’s amazing what happens when you shut your brain off. The semester is over for me. My last day was Wednesday. Supervisor came. Cake walk! I am waiting for my grades to be posted now. 

This time of year is rough for me. I’m missing my father. I have been going to his house on Christmas Eve since I was 10 when my parents divorced. My husband and I are still going over there even now that he’s gone. My 20-year-old brother is a stickler for traditions. He doesn’t want anything to change including the menu – Filet mignon and lobster. My father used to make the steak and now he makes it. I think my bro makes it better than my father (*Looks up* SORRY DAD). Not a lobster eater. Not a red meat eater either. I have to be in the mood for it. I’ll take one for the team Christmas Eve though. My husband’s birthday is on Christmas Eve too so we always have a birthday cake for him. We are going to celebrate it on the 23rd. We are going into NY.

It’s that time of year for reassessing. This has been another year of enormous growth and learning for me. Since my father passed away on Jan 22, 2009, my life has taken such a different turn. I think I have said this in past posts but it’s unfortunate that it took my father leaving this earth to wake the hell up. This year I have seen people’s true colors and realized who cares and who is only out for themselves – especially in the last two months. I think I have also said in past posts that  if you cross me once I wipe my hands of you. That I definitely got from my father. I have wiped my hands of things and situations. Out with the old and in with the new. I refuse to be anyone’s marionette. No one plucks my strings except me. This is why I have a very hard time trusting people. There is usually an underlined manipulative motive.  I won’t tolerate that. To those that have been in my corner and continue to be, I am very thankful and appreciate all the support – especially with my creative outlets.

I also want to announce that I am going to be an auntie again! My best friend is pregnant again with her second child. YAYYYYYYY!!!!

Switched over to another song I can’t stop listening to – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsPFDzAGb4A – Alter ego? lol


Well, I got through my presentation in that God awful computer class. Tomorrow is my last day at the high school and then I get to relax for 4 weeks. God I need it. I am completely burned out. My mind has been on overload. From what I hear, it’s only going to get worse next semester with the internship. By May who knows what condition I will be in! I can’t believe this world wind of a journey I have been on since 2005. For those of you that have been following from Post#1, life is a funny thing, a crazy roller coaster with unexpected hills and drops. I guess I was a lot stronger than I thought; yet a small part of me still doubts myself.

I have to get up at 5:30 a.m. so I just wanted to write something before going to bed. Good night and after tomorrow I am all yours again!

And spammers, BACK OFF! I am not interested in anything you are peddling!


The semester is over for me this Wednesday! I am so over it. I have a presentation tomorrow and the school I intern at has a half day on Wednesday due to an in-service which is just fantastic! My supervisor is coming for the last time. I just have to finish the lesson plan. It’s going to be real quick because the periods are abbreviated. I am teaching the Journalism class how to write a crime report. On another note, I got an A on my portfolio thingy. WOOT! That’s 3 As in that class! *CABBAGE PATCHIN AT THE COMPUTER* Tuesdays class is going to be the death of my GPA. I got a 71 on my final because the teacher is HORRIBLE. He doesn’t care and doesn’t do a damn thing. I have to do a powerpoint presentation tomorrow on an English lesson. I am just doing plot structure. Whatever. He is more concerned how hi-tech looking it is.

Now that the semester is over, I can start blogging more. The Spring semester doesn’t start until January 18! I have an orientation before that though.

Hanging out with a friend of mine I haven’t seen in a while on Friday night. She just got married so we are going for a glass of wine!

My husband and I are almost finished with our second play. We sent the first one out to two different places. i also sent some of my poetry out. I am not a great poet but whatever. Life is too short. Why not send them out and just see?


Happy December! Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving or a tolerable one for those of you that have family issues. I have not had the time to blog as much as I have wanted to. School work and internship work has been crazy. I just finished that mini portfolio thing today – 50 friggin pages. So much for a mini huh? Good Lord! I still have papers to grade, an exam on Tuesday the 7th, a presentation on the 14th and then my supervisor decides he is coming my last day at the high school to observe me. Can you say ready for the semester to be over? I have been so stressed that I have been having like a glass of wine or two a night since Wednesday. I hate drinking during the week because I work out so much. When I finished that portfolio today it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders but who knows if my work is even acceptable. I don’t know. I am so fried and drained that I will even take a B on it. I just can’t push anymore. I don’t have anything else in me.  

I entered some of my poems into poetry contests. Let’s see what happens. I have no expectations but I am giving myself a lot of credit because I stopped doing that kind of stuff due to lack of confidence. Now I just say to hell with it. If they like it and publish it, great, if they don’t, there will be more writings.

The night before Thanksgiving I went out with a friend to have a girls night and blow off some stress. What a Blast! I didn’t get home until 1 a.m. and I can’t tell you the last time I stayed out that late. Good times! We had a very interesting conversation. It’s good to be able to have girl talk sometimes, ya know? I’m still going through the whole aspect of who can I really talk to or trust. My brain also seems to be going through stuff that won’t let me understand it – weirdness. It seems the only place to turn is this blog or a piece of paper.


Has anyone seen this? – http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/snooki-charges-200000-to-walk-an-events-red-carpet-1572458.story?gt1=28135 – Good Lord, REALLY? Not to sound like a hater but . . .

On another note, my husband and I are writing a one-act that is being performed on October 30 at Pianos Bar & Grill in Bloomfield, NJ. I think we are going to call it The Switch or Identity Crisis. It’s part of a show called Midnite Stories: Behind the Bar Edition (A “Twilight Zone” Type anthology). I am quite excited! To see something come alive for the first time that my husband and I created makes my adrenaline flow.  It’s for a group called Mysterical Players that we are a part of. I’ve been doing their PR. Check the group out on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Mysterical-Players/274445179919?ref=ts

Back to the journey. Our relationship with Melissa and Frank was touch and go there for a while. Thank God that was rectified.

I didn’t think life and grief could bother someone as much as it botherd me. It’s hard everytime you are down to keep getting kicked. We had to do what we had to do to get our heads straight – more me though. I felt like the killjoy. I had to get the fog cleared from my head because the next semester at school was starting not long after the 1 year anniversary of my father’s death. Also at that time, I was playing one of the lead roles (The Queen) in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at a local theater in the area. I have to admit, with help from some friends that were actors/actresses, I came into my own. I worked with my singing teacher every week to get me prepared for my solos I had to sing. That boosted my self-esteem IMMENSELY. It was such a great experience. I had little kids coming up to me, some afraid, some not, after the show to take pictures. I had parents coming up to me telling me how great I did. I even had a parent recognize me in church. It was an incredible moment every time. 

The second semester was interesting. I had to travel to two schools for observations. Of course the commute was not close but I didn’t mind. I like driving. I can blast my tunes and sing at the top of my lungs. I know what you are thinking – This woman is a goof ball! – Yeah, pretty much! You either love me or hate me I guess. I am fine with either. In addition to the observations I had a Saturday class that was so boring. I think I had this same professor when I was at William Paterson. He basically sat in a chair at the front of the room and just talked. He would make us do rinky dink group work during class but otherwise I was taking so many notes. UGH! How can you teach like that in general but on Saturday to boot! An extra-large french vanilla couldn’t stop me from wanting to stick pins in my eyes! It was terrible. The professor made us meet with him at the end of the semester and asked what could be changed about the course. Being the person I am, of course I told him. I told him I was all about progressive education and there had to be more than lecturing. This was also the professor that kept looking at my chest while I was talking in that final meeting. I wanted to snap my fingers and whistle and be like “Yo man, my eyes are up here!” I hope I saved the next bunch of poor souls that took him.

My Monday night class was great. The teacher was cool of course with me. We discussed Giants tickets because she was a season ticket holder too. Don’t ask me why teachers take such a liking to me. Maybe because I go into the classroom and just do what I have to do and be myself. She is a first grade teacher during the day so by the time she got to us, she was exhausted which worked to our benefit. She taught the lesson and basically had us out at a reasonable time. Never did we leave at 10:15 p.m. I loved that considering I had like a 50 minute commute home.

I put myself in several predicaments in my Wednesday class. My first set of papers I bombed. The second lesson we had to do, I bombed. Being singled out by all my colleagues in the math field really annoyed me. I was already cranky because it was 100 degrees in the room. The math folk did their “mock” lesson and chose to incessantly annoy me by calling on me because I’m not a math person. COME ON MAN!!!! Lisa “Jersey” was slowly surfacing. I was going to explode. Thank God we were in the classroom. I bit my tongue as much as it would let me. I’m lucky I didn’t bleed out all over from how hard I was biting. By the time I presented my lesson, I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t want to do it. I hated that we were in an old school classroom and I didn’t have a laptop. I had to use the blackboard. I am not a blackboard teacher. I like using Powerpoint. The set up they had in there, one would have asked, “Did you get a free toaster with this too?” It was like reaching into the cracker jack box and pulling out the prize – Woo hoo an old school set up! UGH! I irked my professor. I irked myself. I got thrown under the bus in front of my classmates. It was terrible. I was told that it didn’t seem like I liked writing at all. That is the WORST thing you can say to me. It was like she stuck a steel knife in my gut. That bothered me A LOT. It bothered me that I let her down. In fact, it was all I could think about for days. I even journaled about it. I can’t tell you the last time I had picked up a journal before that. Thank God I got a do over on my papers at least. I was able to pick the grades up. I hate Cs. No Cs yet on my transcript *KNOCK ON WOOD*

I had another class that was half of a semester. It was a one credit course. The professor was cool. I did well in that class too.

I couldn’t wait for the semester to be over. I was looking forward to the summer even though I had to take Summer I and Summer II classes. When you are on unemployment, they want to rush you through everything and make you jump through hoops.