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Tag Archives: writing


Hitting the movies with the hubby. We are going to see The Fighter. If you have all the Optimum services, get the rewards card. FREE movies on Tuesdays. Free is for me!

So, what song is Lisa listening to over and over again today? Here it is:

By the way, after 5 months of blogging, I finally figured out how to insert the video as opposed to the URL. LOL

Anyone else who has a blog, this question is for you. Are you all getting annoyed when you look at who viewed your blog on a specific day and it’s some ridiculousness website that you have no interest in? They obviously click on a blog and click out of it so their website shows up on your dashboard. SO annoying. I NEVER go to these other sites yet they keeping leaving their URL on mine. People PUHLEEZ! Give the trolling and spamming a rest!

I didn’t do any writing today except for here. I went back to the gym and then caught up on DVR stuff I know my husband wouldn’t be into.

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Happy December! Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving or a tolerable one for those of you that have family issues. I have not had the time to blog as much as I have wanted to. School work and internship work has been crazy. I just finished that mini portfolio thing today – 50 friggin pages. So much for a mini huh? Good Lord! I still have papers to grade, an exam on Tuesday the 7th, a presentation on the 14th and then my supervisor decides he is coming my last day at the high school to observe me. Can you say ready for the semester to be over? I have been so stressed that I have been having like a glass of wine or two a night since Wednesday. I hate drinking during the week because I work out so much. When I finished that portfolio today it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders but who knows if my work is even acceptable. I don’t know. I am so fried and drained that I will even take a B on it. I just can’t push anymore. I don’t have anything else in me.  

I entered some of my poems into poetry contests. Let’s see what happens. I have no expectations but I am giving myself a lot of credit because I stopped doing that kind of stuff due to lack of confidence. Now I just say to hell with it. If they like it and publish it, great, if they don’t, there will be more writings.

The night before Thanksgiving I went out with a friend to have a girls night and blow off some stress. What a Blast! I didn’t get home until 1 a.m. and I can’t tell you the last time I stayed out that late. Good times! We had a very interesting conversation. It’s good to be able to have girl talk sometimes, ya know? I’m still going through the whole aspect of who can I really talk to or trust. My brain also seems to be going through stuff that won’t let me understand it – weirdness. It seems the only place to turn is this blog or a piece of paper.


I wrote another poem last night called Tinted Windows.  I’m writing all this stuff about being masked, hiding, who am I, being exposed or being cold. These writings cry ISSUES! LOL! But who the hell doesn’t have them man, ya know? I had another dream last night about a similar subject which I will never discuss because it’s beyond impossible and people would run in the other direction no doubt.  I think this is where these poems are coming from. I don’t know.

Three weeks of school left. THANK GOD! I have to put together this mini teacher portfolio for my Monday night class. I’m kinda freakin about it. I mean I am sure with research I can come up with 6-11 lesson plans but . . . Sometimes I don’t have the confidence I should in myself. I HAVE to do it so I know it will get done  but how good it will be is another question.

I miss doing theatre. I haven’t had time for singing lessons or rehearsals and performing. That part of me feels empty. At least my words are flowing with my pen.

 For now I leave you with this holiday tune – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY


I have written 4 poems now in the last few days which is pretty funny cause I haven’t written a poem in YEARS. Are they good is the question. I always base my writing in 1st person. I think I am going to submit them to the Boston Review. If they like them great, if not great. I am not going to sweat it. Like I said it has been years since I wrote poems but more and more I am learning life is about chance and creating opportunities for yourself.  If you don’t take a risk, how the hell are you going to succeed? Now if I can only apply that logic to the business debacle.  Hmmmm

We are going to NYC again for the 3rd week in a row. Friday we are going to a cocktail reception for SIU Alumni. My husband is a SIU Alumni. I am hoping it’s fun. Even if  it isn’t we are in NY. I always feel at home there. Ya know, in my element.

I bought NKOTB & Backstreet Boys tickets for the June 12th show here in NJ. My best friend and I are going. We went to the one 2 years ago at the IZOD. I can’t believe they paired with Backstreet. Pretty sweet. This seems to be my favorite NKOTB song right now – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji_l0GvKpL4

I taught the honors classes at my internship this week. Period 4 went better than Period 9. 9th I was kinda fumbling for my words. They seemed to like my writing assignment.  I don’t know. I am SO over this semester.

Let’s see, what else have I learned this week? I think Peter Pan Syndrome is kicking in. I want to enjoy myself whether that’s with theater or music or hanging out. I also learned that sometimes you need to keep your mouth shut. I am an opinionated person and sometimes that is really hard to do. Every once in a while the Mother Teresa syndrome kicks in full swing. I don’t know. Since I started throwing myself into writing, I have been a HUGE mush with the heart on the sleeve. UGH! That’s a good way for people to take advantage. I don’t like droppin the guard. I think we all feel that way in a sense. . .

We may be FINALLY having our high school reunion. In 18 years we NEVER had a reunion. Pretty sad.


So what has everyone thought of this crazy journey called life I have been on since 2005?

Tonight my husband and I had a nice night out with our best friends and my God-Daughter. We went to dinner at a turkish mediterranean restaurant – byob. Never been to that type of place before. It was pretty good. The only problem I had with it was the salty rice. Not a big fan of salt.

Did you ever think to yourself, biologically I am “insert age” but mentally I am “insert age?” When we were driving home tonight I found myself listening to what my friends and I like to call  “old school music.” I had it playing loudly as I always do. I was singing and just being goofy. I just love that.  My husband just looked at me, smiled, and shook his head. I guess you can put the Prospect Park in the girl but you can’t take it out!

I want to write something else now that our one-act is done. I have a one-act I wrote in a playwriting class when I did my undergrad. I think I am going to update that and make it more modern. I want to stay motivated and just keep writing. I want the sky to be the limit. My ideal? I want to have the writing career of Jodi Piccoult. I want to travel places to do research. I want book tours. I have wanted that my whole life. My fingers are crossed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMq92PDEKP4 Cant stop listening to this song now. This is my song. Obviously not geared at my husband but to everyone else out there! I have all this passion inside. You better LISTEN!

 


Did you ever want something for yourself so badly? I love writing. That is why I started this blog. It wasn’t just for the catharsis. It was because I just love to write. I think I mentioned a few blogs back that my husband and I were writing a one-act play and that it was going to be performed. We finished it. After many changes and editing it numerous times, we finished it. I uploaded it on the government copyright page today. I am so happy and so excited. I have waited so long for something like this. On the night it is performed, Oct 30, 2010, I am going to be extremely giddy – kinda like Scrooge at the end of a Christmas Carol after he had his epiphany. I am sure not everyone is going to like it. Just the fact that we completed a one-act play makes me feel great. Something I wrote with my husband is going to be performed. Unreal. I actually started writing a book about the topic of the play. We took that concept and made the one-act. We are thinking about expanding it to a full length play or a screenplay. We have no experience in screenplays but I know I am certainly open to learning. I’m sure my husband is too. Another option is just to keep the book idea. I don’t know but I am psyched! I have always wanted to have my name recognized for something. I never wanted to be just another person in society working a regular job. This has made my journey to this point all the more worth the hurdles.

On September 8, I started interning at the high school I was assigned to. My cooperating teacher is great. She’s very helpful and supportive. I have already taught two lessons. It went pretty well. I had some of my own criticisms about time management. That’s just the flaw of this perfectionist attitude I have developed. I’m tired of failing at things, ya know?

I have also started two other classes. The computer class I have, honestly, I hate it. The professor is inserting lessons on binary numbers. I asked him point-blank what this had to do with teaching English in a classroom. Lisa and Math – HUGE oxymoron.  I do not do math. I hate math. I’m sorry all you mathematicians. I give you credit because I have ZERO patience for it. My other class – so far so good. I’ve had this professor before. I think I mentioned about her class the prior semester where I bombed her lesson plan project. Now in the class, I go and just keep my mouth shut. I know better now because I know her. I am going to do my best to do good lessons. We have to do two literature lesson plans. I wish I could use the lessons I already taught at the high school! She picked the book though. Bummer! I definitely understand why it is more uncomfortable to perform in front of your peers than it is in front of the room with the kids. In the classroom, I brought my personality and a little of the “Prospect Park – Lisa Jersey” swagger. It worked. Being in front of my peers doing mock lessons, eh, not real comfortable. Oh well. I have no choice.


Today is a GREAT football day! My husband’s team, the Bears, are on at 1 p.m., then the Jets at 4:15 p.m. and then my boys are on at 8:20 p.m. I just love when they play at night. *CAN YOU HEAR THE SARCASM COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?* I get to go to bed aggravated some times. Just lovely. It’s the Manning Bowl II! Lets go Big Blue!

We are just about caught up on the journey or at least we will be fairly caught up after this post. In any case, when I finished the summer semester I think my nerves got the best of me. I wasn’t sure I was ready to do my pre-professional field (one day a week internship) come September. It was bothering me that I was still on unemployment and didn’t have a job. I have this thing about having to contribute to the bill paying. While I am on unemployment, I don’t really consider that “contributing.” With  everything going on with this HORRIBLE governor, I didn’t think there was any way I would get a teaching job come September 2011. At the same time, I was  doing public relations (still am) for a murder mystery group we are a part of. I like doing that. Anything writing related, I love. My first love will ALWAYS be writing, not teaching. My husband said that if I see a job in the paper that I can see myself doing for a long time to submit but not to just submit to anything. I submitted two resumes and never heard anything. I told my husband that was a sign. If I were to get called and hired somewhere, it was meant to be. If not, then it wasn’t and I was meant to stay in school.  At first I was so conflicted as to whether to mail out the first resume. It was for a PR job at a college. I needed an objective opinion so I emailed a friend of mine from Connecticut that I went to college with who has the same passion for writing that I do. We used to work at the local paper together.

I needed some sound objective advice from someone removed from the situation. I explained I had two semesters and two classes left plus the one day a week internship for September. I would be doing my full internship 5 days a week during the Spring semester Jan 2011-May 2011. Heres what was going on in my head in more detail. I had been on unemployment since November 2008. I was tired of not working. Besides working out during the day, I was bored out of my mind and basically found myself doing house wife things – so not me. I don’t know how some women stay home all day. The education program at Kean doesn’t want you working when doing your internship. In the middle of September, the claim I had for unemployment was going to expire. I would start another tier of benefits. The problem was I did not know how much money I would be getting at that point every two weeks but it was believed to be less than what I was currently getting. Our expenses have gone up because we had to get our second new car since the lease expired on our other car. My husband and I both have new Santa Fes. As I stated, my hubby told me if I could find a job that I really wanted to do and could see myself doing for a long time where the salary was good, to go for it. I was conflicted. I didn’t know what to do. Teaching was going to be a fall back position so that I had given myself options career wise with the current state of the economy. However, my love had always been for writing and PR. I love kids, don’t get me wrong, but the excitement I get when I write wasn’t there while I was thinking about it. I had the envelope with my resume, cover letter, and writing samples ready to go for the college PR job. I kept going back and forth whether to mail it or not. The reason I was conflicted was because I didn’t want people thinking I was a quitter in terms of school or that I couldn’t finish anything I start. That seemed to have been my pattern. Since the whole business fiasco, who knew what people would say. Everyone always has an opinion about other people’s business. Whether they tell you to your face is another story. Since losing my job in Nov 2008, I havent really been able to make up my mind about what the hell I wanted to do and I am 35 years old! I didn’t really get a chance to really assess what I wanted to do and really think about it because two months after I lost my job I lost my dad, my pet died, we had a bankruptcy and so on. Who would immediately have a clear head to make a good decision after all that? I was afraid to take a job in the writing/editing field because I have lost my job so many times because of the economy. BUT, if I stayed in school, I am accumulating loans with no guarantee of a teaching job come September which would cause me to look in the writing field anyway. Plus if I stayed in school, I was another year away from working. If I took a job and I lost it again, I was afraid I would be kicking myself for not finishing the program at Kean. I wanted to make the best decision for my family because of this horrible economy. Like I said earlier, I don’t know how much less money from unemployment I was going to get. I was not having any problems in school. I was just trying to figure out what the hell the best decision was for us. God gave me the answer because I did not get any phone calls from either resume I submitted.

I think all the above may have stemmed from fear about actually having to be in a real classroom now and being monitored by a cooperating teacher and supervisor. It wasn’t a mock classroom anymore. I didn’t know if I was ready for a real setting.


Since the phone wasn’t ringing when I was applying for teaching jobs through alternate route or any other job I applied for, I registered for classes at Kean University for the Fall September 2009 semester.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdpkFPKo1o4

I had not been in school for 10 years. I was never really good at school. I mean, grammar school my grades were very good but my academics sort of declined as I got older. When I graduated William Paterson University in 1999, my GPA was only a 2.52. I was too immature to be in college when I was there and I was also working almost 40 hours a week to help my mother pay bills. Now I get to do it all over again. I should mention that in July 2009, I taught Creative Writing to 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students from an urban district at William Paterson Summer Youth Camp.  I initially applied to William Paterson to get my certification. I read on the Board of Education site that a 2.75 GPA was required to get into any education program BUT if you graduated before 2004, you needed to have at least a 2.5 GPA. Apparently William Paterson was not aware of this, and did not accept me into their education program. I filed an appeal.  (I have to add that when I initially took the Praxis back in 2005 or so I looked into William Paterson’s Education Program and was told by the Assistant Dean at that time I would NEVER get accepted into any education program without going back to school and getting a different Bachelors degree to prove that I could have a better GPA. Really now?) This did not make any sense to me. I had the requirement because I graduated in 1999 and I just taught middle school kids there that summer. After I filed the appeal, I started looking into Kean. Kean accepted me immediately when I applied. The funny thing is way after I registered for 2 classes at Kean and got my books, William Paterson calls to tell me they reversed their decision and decided to take me. I laughed and said, “Sorry I am going to Kean.” Too bad so sad for William Paterson. They initially rejected me because of a GPA I had when I was 18, dealing with parents going through a divorce, and working 40 hours to help my mother? Not my loss. It’s theirs because I currently have a 3.784 GPA at Kean. Whose laughing now? After everything I have been through, it is so gratifying to prove people wrong. I know some of this sounds bitter but that is not my intent. It’s just, well, you get the idea.

Oh brother. Unbelievable. The Jersey Shore cast gets seats to the MTV VMAs. I’m not going to lie I do watch that show but all the perks they get annoys me. I mean I have a real life “situation” to discuss but people would rather see 20 somethings getting wasted and having sex. Sigh.